Not really a resolution list, so to say...just more of a "To Do" list because I always skimp on resolving my resolutions.
~ Get "new" car
~ Make/buy latex or silicone mermaid tail with scales
~ Work on routine for professional mermaid act for parties
~ Work on stories
...that's all for now.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Same eyes, different time - disjointed notes
I feel very keenly that I am still the same little girl I was when I was about 6 or 7. Honestly, I don't feel I've changed much at all. Sure, I've grown up, but I'm the same. It's a strange feeling to see my position now with those same eyes...some of it's amazing and I'm delighted to have done something I used to dream about, but then again, there are times when my inner self just sits down and pouts about something I'm doing or have done. It's awful and I hate disappointing myself.
...
I was a mermaid. I mean, I am a mermaid, no doubt about that, but people actually acknowledged me as a mermaid for a whole weekend and I was absolutely beyond ecstasy. I think I want to get to the point where that is a bigger part of my life. I couldn't have been more happy doing that and there are many elements that combined to make that utter joy: friendly new people; happy, interested children; new setting... I wished it had never ended and now I'm curious as to how to make it continue. I really need to apply myself and get this to work.
...
On another note, I'm feeling stifled. I need change and I'm not sure where it should come in. Everything's screaming at me and I can't pinpoint where the majority of the voices are coming from so I can shake them up and silence them.
...
I'm almost done reading Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell for practically the billionth time and I'm just as enchanted by it as I was when I first picked it up. I highly suggest that you read it...whoever you are. I think I'll read through Susanna Clarke's The Ladies of Grace Adieu & Other Stories just to round out that fantastical feeling I get when I read through her masterpiece once again. I'd love to read something else from her, but I know almost exactly how she feels with regards to writing, although she's come much farther than I have, having actually finished writing a novel AND getting it published. I'm still only writing.
...
Just keep swimming, right? Well...what if I have the sudden urge to turn around and swim against the current I'm in now? Is that bad? Beneficial? Pointless? I guess I have to just turn and swim harder to find out.
...
I was a mermaid. I mean, I am a mermaid, no doubt about that, but people actually acknowledged me as a mermaid for a whole weekend and I was absolutely beyond ecstasy. I think I want to get to the point where that is a bigger part of my life. I couldn't have been more happy doing that and there are many elements that combined to make that utter joy: friendly new people; happy, interested children; new setting... I wished it had never ended and now I'm curious as to how to make it continue. I really need to apply myself and get this to work.
...
On another note, I'm feeling stifled. I need change and I'm not sure where it should come in. Everything's screaming at me and I can't pinpoint where the majority of the voices are coming from so I can shake them up and silence them.
...
I'm almost done reading Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell for practically the billionth time and I'm just as enchanted by it as I was when I first picked it up. I highly suggest that you read it...whoever you are. I think I'll read through Susanna Clarke's The Ladies of Grace Adieu & Other Stories just to round out that fantastical feeling I get when I read through her masterpiece once again. I'd love to read something else from her, but I know almost exactly how she feels with regards to writing, although she's come much farther than I have, having actually finished writing a novel AND getting it published. I'm still only writing.
...
Just keep swimming, right? Well...what if I have the sudden urge to turn around and swim against the current I'm in now? Is that bad? Beneficial? Pointless? I guess I have to just turn and swim harder to find out.
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