Same eyes, different time - disjointed notes

I feel very keenly that I am still the same little girl I was when I was about 6 or 7. Honestly, I don't feel I've changed much at all. Sure, I've grown up, but I'm the same. It's a strange feeling to see my position now with those same eyes...some of it's amazing and I'm delighted to have done something I used to dream about, but then again, there are times when my inner self just sits down and pouts about something I'm doing or have done. It's awful and I hate disappointing myself.
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I was a mermaid. I mean, I am a mermaid, no doubt about that, but people actually acknowledged me as a mermaid for a whole weekend and I was absolutely beyond ecstasy. I think I want to get to the point where that is a bigger part of my life. I couldn't have been more happy doing that and there are many elements that combined to make that utter joy: friendly new people; happy, interested children; new setting... I wished it had never ended and now I'm curious as to how to make it continue. I really need to apply myself and get this to work.
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On another note, I'm feeling stifled. I need change and I'm not sure where it should come in. Everything's screaming at me and I can't pinpoint where the majority of the voices are coming from so I can shake them up and silence them.
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I'm almost done reading Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell for practically the billionth time and I'm just as enchanted by it as I was when I first picked it up. I highly suggest that you read it...whoever you are. I think I'll read through Susanna Clarke's The Ladies of Grace Adieu & Other Stories just to round out that fantastical feeling I get when I read through her masterpiece once again. I'd love to read something else from her, but I know almost exactly how she feels with regards to writing, although she's come much farther than I have, having actually finished writing a novel AND getting it published. I'm still only writing.
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Just keep swimming, right? Well...what if I have the sudden urge to turn around and swim against the current I'm in now? Is that bad? Beneficial? Pointless? I guess I have to just turn and swim harder to find out.

Ethereal creatures of the deep

It's so neat to try and recreate that ethereal glow that the mermaids in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides have. They shimmer and shine with something akin to moonglow and it is truly captivating.

Borrowed from Tatak Digitista

I learned through various searches that their on-set makeup artists used something from DuWop called Doubleglow7 that adds luminescence to any face. ...too bad I didn't find out about that earlier. Now I'm only three days away from driving to Georgia for the Southern Pirate Festival and I don't have time to wait for something to come in the mail. It's my fault because I wasn't really searching until much too late, but I don't think I'm going to be too far off with what I have already.

I'm going to be the first to admit that I really know nothing about makeup and its application. I've always really relied on my younger sister to help me there; she's really good with makeup and she's taken professional pictures before. I'm not really too intimidated, but I can get carried away with the buying, just trying to figure out what I need. I grilled my sister a week or so ago about what I needed to get a good, flawless look in pictures and she told me some items and even went shopping with me. Now, since I've not seen her recently, I've been searching on my own and have since found all sorts of tutorials and whatnot telling me the thousands of more "essentials" I need to create this amazing look that I want. Ugh. Too much. 

Instead of the Doubleglow7 (which I intend to buy later along with DuWop's lovely "Isla Sirena" palette of mermaid-themed makeups), I found something called Shimmering Facial Whip by e.l.f. I bought the little tube in the "Spotlight" shade and tried it last night...AMAZING! It looked just like shimmers of moonlight highlighting my shoulders and cheeks. It also had the bonus effect of making it look like I'd almost dried off after swimming, but was still slightly wet. I loved it and even contemplated wearing it to work today, but opted not to...as that's weird. I'll save it for my two days of mermaiding in Georgia. 

I know I won't look the same as those beauties in On Stranger Tides...heck, I'll barely have a shred of similarity, but at least I'll shine like they do in dark waters during the movie. I can't wait! 

Road blocks, writer's block and building blocks

Ok. I'll admit first thing that the title is intentionally misleading. This post is about writer's block and I added the other two because I liked the way the sentence had an elementary school feel to it. You know...when you first learned how to write "essays" with a beginning, three topic middle and end. The last sentence of your first paragraph would be something like this: "Vegetables are bad for you because they get stuck in your teeth, they destroy your brain and they enhance all that is bad with the world." Come to think of it, that's how you ended the whole thing, too - with a copy of the end of your first paragraph. Maybe I was doing it wrong.

So yeah. I looked up this "Mercon" thing about a convention for mermaid-loving people/mermaids and read on their front page that the next "big thing" in "paranormal fiction" would be mermaids. Heck even stupid Stephanie Meyer of the Twilight awfulness said that she's writing about mermaids. F*** it! I practically threw something when I read that. Not that EVERYTHING I write about is about mermaids, but I have a few really good ideas that I've been messing with for a while now. I've written out character summaries, typed up scenes and dialogue, but never finished or really polished anything and then I read this. Boo!!! I really hope those people are overreaching in their theory that mermaids are going to be the next big "thing" because then it'll be one of two things:

1) It'll become WAAAY too hard to publish anything mermaid related because there's such a high expectancy level
- or -
2) It'll become WAAAY too easy to publish anything mermaid related because they'll take any piece of crap out there and it will become hard to distinguish between books and then they'll just become passe like stupid vampires and (to a lesser extent) zombies.

Bah. Can't let the bad feeling stick because it might never happen. Also, I suck at maintaining any one thing. I've got so many story starts (and subsequent abrupt stops), unfinished character maps, ideas, pieces of nothing that I don't know what to do with them. I get bored and move on before I ever finish anything. I'm surprised I've kept up with at least one blog a month on here so far. Maybe I'm growing slowly out of this "never finishing anything" phase. At this rate, I may have a novel ready to be presented by the time I'm 60. Woo hoo! I'm just now hitting halfway to 50. Crap.