Lack of patience = lack of results

It's December - a month that seems to have come much too soon. It's not really cold yet and the time for extreme gift giving will surely depress me to the point of tears at least once. Not that I don't want to give much, but I really can't this year. For one, I have a new car that I surely couldn't afford. It didn't come to me in the best of ways, either. Let me record the whole story here, at least for something to come back to when I'm old and doddery.

It was going to be something easy. Something relatively quick which, in terms of my car, would be done in time to be driven again by Monday morning for the long trek to work...but it wasn't. Of course it wasn't or I wouldn't be relating this story at all, let alone whinging on about it in my blog. For some time now, I knew that I had to order a new harmonic balancer for my car. Apparently it is part of the crankshaft assembly and my mechanic boyfriend told me that the one I had now was wobbling and, if I didn't get it taken care of, it would come off and - in a worst-case scenario - take out part of my engine whilst driving. Not good. So, when it came time for him to do my oil change and whatnot, I ordered the part off an auto parts website (the only one left with the available part, so we really had no choice where to buy it from) and he did the oil change before starting on the balancer.

Needless to say, my car would not start when he put the new balancer on. He figured out that it was one or two things: either the part was bad and/or the sensor was bad. Oh...and that didn't take too long...it is just that my car's under-hood area is heavily encrusted with years of gunk and all original parts from 1989-1990. Suffice to say that he had a terrible time of even the slightest of things which is, unfortunately, usually the case with my older car. Sunday, he went and bought a new sensor at NAPA and put it on with the old balancer; the car started right up. I was elated because I was seriously looking into rental cars and bus schedules. He told me that he didn't want to risk putting the new part on again with the new sensor because he thinks the new part busted the old sensor because the spacing on some part of it was off. Soo...to make a long story slightly shorter, we decided it was finally time to get into gear to get me a new car.

Over the course of last weekend, we drove all over the place and looked at a few cars in "my" price range. (Note, I put "my" in quotation marks because I have no money at all. My wonderful boyfriend is paying for the car outright and I will pay him back. I feel extremely awkward about this, but there is no way around it because everyone, including him, do not want me to pay all the interest and fees and full coverage on insurance to make payments on a car from a dealership. Oh, and "my" price range started out at around $0 - $2000 and eventually went up to...well, you'll see.) They were awful.Too expensive for a 1998 Ford Escort with 80K miles...2001 Neon whose engine was the loudest I'd ever heard in such a small car...2000 Mercury Sable which felt like getting into a newer version of my rather large Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera...it was taxing on everyone looking.

At the end of the day last Saturday, I accompanied my parents to Best Buy to help them get a camera while boyfriend went home to look at more cars on Craigslist. When we got home, he'd found a 2004 Kia Rio with a little over 68K miles in our area. We were pretty much sold on it before we went there, which was bad. It was the model car I wanted with low mileage without having to drive a billion miles to see it. Worst part so far was the price - the guy was asking online for $3950. Ryan figured he could talk him down some, so we went to see it.

The car was cute and rode well, but Ryan immediately saw that it had an oil leak (although the guy said he'd just sprayed down under the hood for looks and that was probably it) and it needed tires on the back. Driving it was nice, but it whined a little. We looked at eachother and wanted all this crap over with, so we took it. Had to put a deposit down because his bank wouldn't give him any more cash at the ATM for the day, so we got it and the title Monday night after work.

It's now Friday and we know that the belts are too tight, the AC was just charged and it's probably a head gasket that's leaking - not the valve cover like we were hoping. Oh...and we got the car for $3700, which is really more than we wanted to pay, but we were over it. So...I have a Kia Rio...which is what I wanted since it's cute, newer than my car and has low mileage. However, I still can't drive it yet. We have 58 days (the leftover length of two temporary tags for my Olds) to fix it. Too bad Ryan has to use his vacation week in two weeks to do it. Oh well...at least he won't feel like he did nothing all day during his "stay-cation" like he did last time.

New lesson learned!
When buying a used car, take your time! Don't try to rush it or you'll be in worse shape than when you started!

Things to do in the new year

Not really a resolution list, so to say...just more of a "To Do" list because I always skimp on resolving my resolutions.

~ Get "new" car
~ Make/buy latex or silicone mermaid tail with scales
~ Work on routine for professional mermaid act for parties
~ Work on stories

...that's all for now.

Same eyes, different time - disjointed notes

I feel very keenly that I am still the same little girl I was when I was about 6 or 7. Honestly, I don't feel I've changed much at all. Sure, I've grown up, but I'm the same. It's a strange feeling to see my position now with those same eyes...some of it's amazing and I'm delighted to have done something I used to dream about, but then again, there are times when my inner self just sits down and pouts about something I'm doing or have done. It's awful and I hate disappointing myself.
...
I was a mermaid. I mean, I am a mermaid, no doubt about that, but people actually acknowledged me as a mermaid for a whole weekend and I was absolutely beyond ecstasy. I think I want to get to the point where that is a bigger part of my life. I couldn't have been more happy doing that and there are many elements that combined to make that utter joy: friendly new people; happy, interested children; new setting... I wished it had never ended and now I'm curious as to how to make it continue. I really need to apply myself and get this to work.
...
On another note, I'm feeling stifled. I need change and I'm not sure where it should come in. Everything's screaming at me and I can't pinpoint where the majority of the voices are coming from so I can shake them up and silence them.
...
I'm almost done reading Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell for practically the billionth time and I'm just as enchanted by it as I was when I first picked it up. I highly suggest that you read it...whoever you are. I think I'll read through Susanna Clarke's The Ladies of Grace Adieu & Other Stories just to round out that fantastical feeling I get when I read through her masterpiece once again. I'd love to read something else from her, but I know almost exactly how she feels with regards to writing, although she's come much farther than I have, having actually finished writing a novel AND getting it published. I'm still only writing.
...
Just keep swimming, right? Well...what if I have the sudden urge to turn around and swim against the current I'm in now? Is that bad? Beneficial? Pointless? I guess I have to just turn and swim harder to find out.

Ethereal creatures of the deep

It's so neat to try and recreate that ethereal glow that the mermaids in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides have. They shimmer and shine with something akin to moonglow and it is truly captivating.

Borrowed from Tatak Digitista

I learned through various searches that their on-set makeup artists used something from DuWop called Doubleglow7 that adds luminescence to any face. ...too bad I didn't find out about that earlier. Now I'm only three days away from driving to Georgia for the Southern Pirate Festival and I don't have time to wait for something to come in the mail. It's my fault because I wasn't really searching until much too late, but I don't think I'm going to be too far off with what I have already.

I'm going to be the first to admit that I really know nothing about makeup and its application. I've always really relied on my younger sister to help me there; she's really good with makeup and she's taken professional pictures before. I'm not really too intimidated, but I can get carried away with the buying, just trying to figure out what I need. I grilled my sister a week or so ago about what I needed to get a good, flawless look in pictures and she told me some items and even went shopping with me. Now, since I've not seen her recently, I've been searching on my own and have since found all sorts of tutorials and whatnot telling me the thousands of more "essentials" I need to create this amazing look that I want. Ugh. Too much. 

Instead of the Doubleglow7 (which I intend to buy later along with DuWop's lovely "Isla Sirena" palette of mermaid-themed makeups), I found something called Shimmering Facial Whip by e.l.f. I bought the little tube in the "Spotlight" shade and tried it last night...AMAZING! It looked just like shimmers of moonlight highlighting my shoulders and cheeks. It also had the bonus effect of making it look like I'd almost dried off after swimming, but was still slightly wet. I loved it and even contemplated wearing it to work today, but opted not to...as that's weird. I'll save it for my two days of mermaiding in Georgia. 

I know I won't look the same as those beauties in On Stranger Tides...heck, I'll barely have a shred of similarity, but at least I'll shine like they do in dark waters during the movie. I can't wait! 

Dazzled by Duran Duran

Can words really describe the overwhelming elation I felt during the Duran Duran concert in Clearwater on October 10? Not sufficiently, no; words can't, but that's all I have, so I'll try to work with it.

Outstanding. Superb. Amazing. Stunning. Dazzling.
Ooh...I like that one: dazzling. That fits very well.

It was the first concert I'd ever been to at Ruth Eckerd Hall, so I wasn't sure what to expect, venue-wise. I did know, however, that Duran Duran were going to be fantastic...I just didn't realize how fantastic they would really end up being.

This concert was the fourth time I've seen Duran Duran perform onstage. The first time was during the Astronaut tour, the second was when they performed with the Orlando Symphonic Orchestra and the third was in 2008 for their Red Carpet Massacre tour. So that's Tampa, Orlando, Orlando and now Clearwater. Also, that's 'with Andy Taylor,' 'with Andy Taylor,' 'without Andy Taylor' and, now (once again), 'without Andy Taylor.' With all those different variables and things taken out of consideration, I have to say that this latest performance was the best I'd seen of theirs yet.

In all aspects I was blown away like the Maxell advert guy. Simon's voice was incredible for having been so recently out of commission; John's bass was heart-stoppingly killer; Roger's drums were thrilling; Nick's keyboards were out of this world (as always, because he's an alien); and Dom's guitar riffs wailed. I really don't recall Andy ever being as good as Dom is now and I've seen PLENTY of videos.

Simon, Nick, John, and Roger were all laughing, playing with the crowd, joking with each other and playing brilliantly on top of that.

Ohhh...I'm all over the place! This was the set list:
BEFORE THE RAIN/PLANET EARTH/A VIEW TO A KILL/ALL YOU NEED IS NOW/ BLAME THE MACHINES/COME UNDONE/SAFE/REFLEX/LEOPARD/GIRL PANIC/TIGER TIGER/CARELESS MEMORIES/LEAVE A LIGHT ON/ORDINARY WORLD/NOTORIOUS/HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF/SUNRISE (encore) WILD BOYS/RIO


When they opened the concert with "Before the Rain," I about fell over. My jaw dropped and my heart stopped for a second. Ryan thought it was funny and/or cute. My hands clasped together at my chest and I teared up when Simon began to sing (I wasn't the only one). That song is every expression of beauty that I can think of, song-wise; opening with that song was such a right choice. It set the perfect tone of the concert and then played with it by following it up with "Planet Earth."

Simon said at one point that they were the band that would make us party and they sure did; the whole sold-out venue was on their feet the entire time, dancing, singing, laughing, loving the show.

When they busted the instrumental "Tiger Tiger" out from their Seven and the Ragged Tiger album, I was floored and Ryan was pleased to say the least; he LOVES instrumentals and from the moment I first played him that track, he was hooked.

Everything was just so right about the concert. The weather was great, the drive was easy (except when we got lost before we got there, but even that wasn't bad at all; we just turned around and went the other way), the crowd was friendly and not raucous, the band was brilliant (as always)...everything was so right.

I will absolutely treasure every millisecond of the memories of this Duran Duran concert. In a sea of good evenings, this one was perfect.

Beautiful imagery

I can't stop thinking about the poem "Annabel Lee" by Edgar Allan Poe. It's come to the forefront of my mind because of singer/songwriter Sarah Jarosz. I found out about her just by chance and have been enchanted. Her music is lovely and some of it is downright haunting - sticking with you like a determined ghost. Two songs in particular have struck my fancy: "Run Away" and "Annabelle Lee." The former is the song I heard in a second on the radio while I was flipping through channels. I heard it and knew I was going to go home and buy her album, which I did. The latter song is the treasure I found on her album once I'd purchased it through iTunes.

Sarah's "Annabelle Lee" is Edgar Allan Poe's poem adapted to a beautiful song she wrote. I've always delighted in the macabre, and the poem "Annabel Lee" is just that. It's beautiful, sad and more than a little disturbing if you pay attention. Sarah's version is almost exactly that, but she adds some fantastic lines that add even more amazing imagery to the already magnificent original poem. In particular, these two:

They shut her up in a tomb
Below this kingdom by the sea
But no maiden's grave could sever my soul 
From the love she bore for me


and

For many years I've wandered
Through this kingdom by the sea
I've laid myself beside the bones
Of my beautiful Annabelle Lee


In Poe's original, he speaks of no angels above or demons below being able to sever his soul from Annabel's love, but Sarah Jarosz's "maiden's grave" is just enchanting. The same goes for the second quote. In the original, Poe's narrator lies "down by the side" of Annabel in her tomb, so you know that he's in her tomb, but she could be in a coffin for all we know. With Sarah's lyrics, however, you've got that narrator right next to his darling Annabelle's exposed bones. It makes you see him wandering all these years since his love's death just to finally give up and break into her silent tomb to lie down beside her bones and wait for death. It's hauntingly beautiful, isn't it?

I've gone for a bit without any good inspiration for my writing, but Sarah Jarosz's "Follow Me Down" album is proving a wonderful jolt for my mind and imagination. Close your eyes and just listen:

Interesting dream

So...I got a wig in the mail the other day. I'd ordered it from an eBay seller in China from whom I bought my lovely Kaylee wig earlier this year. It was supposed to be a gorgeous long, blonde wig, but that's not what came. When I opened the package, it was quite pretty, but the danged thing was yellow. You know, like anime yellow.  I like that and sometimes I think I want to buy a Sailor Moon wig in this particular shade of yellow, but that was not what was in the picture and that was not what I ordered for my mermaid character.

My mermaids have always been very natural, long haired creatures with little to no makeup, which is exactly what this new mermaid character will be. (However, I may opt for some makeup because I'll have my "makeup artist" sister with me.) I wanted her to have hair like this, but blonde:

Sooo...I got my money back from China (and still got to keep the wig, interestingly enough; who knows what I'm going to do with the yellow thing) and bought a new one this morning from California. I do hope it will be what I saw in the picture on eBay. These things are always iffy. 

Oh, and during that whole wig debacle, I had a dream about being a mermaid. That, in and of itself, is nothing new or remarkable (those are some of my favorite recurring dreams), but it actually pulled reality and some of my everyday interests into it as well. It was interesting to say the least, so here it is: 

I was a mermaid and I had a friend with me. We were in human form, walking along toward our destination, which was a stately manor in Georgia. However, on our way, we had to cross a river...a very wide, deep, murky brown river. With misgivings we slipped into the dingy water and knew immediately that something was wrong. There was another mermaid - a strange creature - living in the river, watching us too closely. As we swam faster to get to the other side, something sharp and ragged tugged at my fin. I could feel her harsh, questioning thoughts and possessive nature all around me as she let go. It was a warning, but we had to get out fast; she wasn't going to let me go a second time. My friend tried to reach out to her with her thoughts, but was raked along her side with claw-like nails without so much as a glimpse at the creature. Faster and faster we swam and, just as we could feel we has overstayed our grace period, we reached the other side of the river and clambered out of reach of the water. Looking back, our hearts beating almost too quickly, we held onto our tails and watched as a silvery flash flicked the surface of the water just a few yards from the edge - much too close. The negative feelings that we'd felt in the creature's water lingered as long as we were wet, so we stretched out and dried ourselves with the bright sun. It wasn't pleasant, drying out so completely, but it had to be done. Right as we were beginning to dry a little too much, a familiar voice called to us from the mansion; we jolted up, having almost forgotten about our quest, and dashed into the mansion. 

Inside was large and hollow. Of course there were all sorts of appropriate furnishings and trappings for an antebellum Georgian manor house, but something was off. There was a television, a gramophone, a telephone and a few other modernities that threw me off. Ignoring the strangeness, I led my fellow mermaid upstairs to where the only sounds in the house were coming from: a bedroom. We heard laughter and the muffled sound of a television show behind the closed door and, when we opened it, I wasn't surprised at all anymore. There were Captain Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbossa (before his promotion) sitting around a computer, laughing. Sparrow looked up to see us in the doorway and beckoned, his eyes bright and playful.

"Hector and I just HAD to show this to you two! We thought you'd love it with your love of pretties and things..." he said. Barbossa just kept chuckling to himself. 

Coming around to the other side of the monitor, I saw an episode of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" playing. The bright colors and moving pictures fascinated both myself and my friend and we watched, enraptured. It seemed familiar somehow and, next thing I knew, I was in a clawed-foot bathtub, being kept wet by a running showerhead. There were agitated voices in the hallway and I felt scared, like I should flee. I tried to move, but I couldn't and as I tried to figure out why, I woke up. 

Waiting with hope

Sooo...I'm going to be a mermaid in October (if my contract ever makes it to me) AND I'm going to see Duran Duran in concert AGAIN! Oh...AND I should be getting a new car (to me - not an actual brand new car). I just wish all these wonderful things didn't cost so much. I guess that's part of life, right? "Live, pay taxes, die." Doesn't matter how you live, you still have to pay to live and pay taxes.

The mermaid thing I mentioned before: I'm going to be a mermaid at a pirate festival in Georgia. I'll be sitting somewhere and the kids and people will come to me to take pictures and chat with me, the real live mermaid. I just bought a lovely long, blonde wig from China and I have the tail; all I need to work on now is the top and I have a fantastic idea for that one. I think my sister is going to come with me and be my personal makeup artist - I just have to pay for her meals. That's a fair trade; I suck at makeup. I really hope she can get off work with me. It's going to be awesome!

The week before I transform into a tail-flapping mermaid for a weekend, Ryan and I will be attending a Duran Duran concert for their "All You Need Is Now" tour! I still can't believe that I'm going to a DD concert with someone else; I've only ever gone by myself. Heck, I even went to Flight of the Conchords by myself. The standard procedure is that my parents drop me off, I enjoy, they pick me up and go home. Fun, but lonely. I mean, there are thousands of people at DD concerts and we're all fans and friends in Duran, but it's still lonely. This time will be totally different and I can't wait. Oh, AND by that time I will be a card-carrying GOLD member of their fan club with a special edition t-shirt, messenger bag and other sundries. I had to pay extra to join, but it was worth it because I got great seats for the concert during the pre-sale for members only. Well, now that I am a member, I am that much closer to saving up for a meet and greet with the band. That's my secret plan. Don't tell anyone!

As for the car, well, my ride right now is a 1990 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera SL. Color: rust. No, really. Not rust-colored. It's made of rust. It used to be mostly maroon, but that's not the case anymore. No air conditioning and the automatic passenger window is practically dead when I have to drive almost an hour home every day in the awful Florida summer sun. Luckily I can keep my mind off the worst of it by turning up my iPod and singing along, but sometimes it's barely bearable. I've had it since 2004 and the honest truth is that I need a new car. Unfortunately, I'm awful with money. I've made a resolution to do better with it, but I'm not there yet. Luckily, my amazing boyfriend (who also happens to be a mechanic) wants to buy a nice used one for me outright and have me pay him back. We've been searching for a few days now and I think I found my dream car: a green Kia Rio (not blue-silver, but I can't afford to be too picky) with air and manual windows. Unfortunately, it's an hour away from our house and we have to wait until the weekend to go see it...IF it's still there. We have to call them tonight to see if they even still have the car. I hope so. I also hope they don't sell it before we get to it. Here's to hoping, wishing and waiting.

Rounding out July

Just thought I'd get one more post in before July ends, but I can't think of much to post. Sure plenty has gone on since the last one, but the question is: do I want to post about it or not? Obviously.

The coolest thing that's happened to me since the last post was that I was asked to be a mermaid at the Southern Pirate Festival in Georgia in October. I'm so excited that I catch myself flipping through a calendar at least once a day just to see the dates again. In the mostly-three months until then, I need to fix two holes in my tail's seams that came apart because of wonky sewing, I need to get a lovely wig because my hair will not be a sufficient mermaid length in time (stupid slow-growing hair) and I need to construct a new top that will fit my character. Honestly, "excited" doesn't really cover what I feel about this opportunity. A mermaid for reals (and not just randomly swimming in a tail in a spring/pool)? Yes, please!!!

Hmm...that's all for now. Fighting mind-wise over how I want the next part of my fanfiction to go, waiting for October and trying to avoid car-related deaths and tickets is all I'm doing outside of regular work right now. Oh. And watching Korean teen soap operas. "Boys Over Flowers" is awfully addicting in a weird way.

Here are some observations that I found randomly on a random website that I completely agree with:
How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

It really annoys me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

Caught

I think I have been ticketed (or will be) for sort of running a red light and yet Casey Anthony gets away with murder/manslaughter. Backwards much?

Last Friday, it was raining heavily during my long drive to work. A traffic light is yellow and I go through it. As the halfway point of my car goes directly underneath it, I see a flash. It might have been lightning, but I seriously think it was the stupid red light camera. I've been thinking about it on and off all weekend and I've convinced myself that I'm going to get a "civil penalty notice" in the mail by the end of next week. I seriously hope I'm worried about nothing, but I've got this sinking feeling that I will be out $158 dollars this month. I drove through the GREEN light this morning and stuck my tongue out at the sign that says "PHOTO ENFORCED." Grr. Not happy. The light was yellow when I went through it and it must've turned red as I was still going through it. That shouldn't count and I hope it didn't or that, like I hoped before, it was a flash of lightning. We'll see if my mailbox disappoints me with that "civil penalty notice" or not.

As for Casey Anthony, well, I've been following the trial like many other Americans and am simply saddened that she got away with it. Ok. So the State didn't prove that she outright murdered her baby...then they should've tagged her with manslaughter!!! Couldn't they see that she was negligent? Maybe even criminally negligent when it came to little Caylee? That cold, selfish person was out partying while her little girl was irrefutably missing. How could any rational people let her get off completely free? How is it not a crime to cover up your child's death whether you did it or the swimming pool did it? It's so freaking sad. Oh well. She'll probably at least be in prison for a few years and maybe someone will be mean to her about it at the very least. Yeah...and when she comes out, there are going to be movie deals and book deals and hell, Casey can probably get a deal for a reality show with Octomom! That would be interesting.

Nadya loves her babies. Casey loves to party.
What will they do when they both want to go out for a few nights and there is no one to watch the kids but the imaginary babysitter?

*Send in your own recipe for chloroform and it may be used on the show!*

I just hope against hope that Casey doesn't have another child ever again. Not that I think she'd make another huge mistake like what happened to Caylee, but I don't think any child of hers would ever be able to have a good, wholesome life.

Absentia

There's always a post or few about "sorry I was gone so long" and this should be one of them, but I'm not going to do it. Nope. Not even with that title. I just did it to tease you (or annoy you...whichever the case may be).

The convention was a great day. I wish I could've gone for the whole weekend, but I honestly don't think it would have been worth the money for more than the one day I went. It's not that the panels weren't good, because they were great - mostly because of Candace's friends being the fun people they are - it was just that the dealer room was REALLY sub-par this time. I don't know why. Maybe it's that I didn't find too much of what I wanted or maybe...aww heck. I really don't know. I just felt cheated dealer room-wise. Meh. Had a good time in artist's alley having portraits drawn, which was interesting. Our costumes were perfect, absolutely perfect. They fit well and looked great, except for Candace's wig. I hated that it made her head hurt. I need to find a good replacement wig for her so she can enjoy when we wear them again. Oh, and another bad part about only going with the two of us was that we didn't think to get pictures of ourselves! I loved the way our costumes looked, but there weren't many opportunities to take pictures for ourselves. Boo. Oh well. Maybe we'll do a cosplay "School Rumble" photoshoot with our "sister from a different family," Kenya. I've never done a photoshoot before and Candace is a pro. I wonder what it will be like! I have a funny feeling I'll be laughing a lot because Candace and Kenya keep me in stitches; their interplay is WAAAY too funny.

Ugh. I feel so off. I've been sick this whole week and the cold/sinus infection is finally leaving me, but it's taking its sweet time, leaving me snotty and funny-sounding in the process. One good thing about it is that Ryan and I have been taking garlic pills to help fight the cold (for me) and prevent it (for him) and they're working, but they have the strange side effect of making us both have quite vivid dreams. It's funny because I was thinking about how much I've been dreaming and remembering it since I started taking the pills and Ryan just out of the blue makes a comment that he's been dreaming (and remembering them) every night since a few days back. I tell him about my theory on the garlic pills and he agrees. Unfortunately, he seems to have nightmares and/or sad dreams and I end up with weird stuff that makes me smile. Different people, similar but differing reactions. Huh.

I think I need to go swimming to set me straight again. It's the start of summer and I've yet to go in the water since the 21st. I know that's a factor for some of this off-ness. Hopefully I'll get the chance this weekend if the dreary weather lets up. If not, I'll jump in a full bathtub to help alleviate this wrong. That'll do.

I Wants: I want to see a ghost sometime soon because I have a few questions to ask; I want a silver blue definitely-not-new-but-nice-looking-and-shiny Kia Rio (with A/C) to begin the Duran Duran mobile; and I want to be able to finish my fanfiction so I can satisfy that one freaking reader who is great and consistent, but kinda pushy about updates!  

Glossing over

I've started and restarted this blog over and over and I can't seem to get it right. Something in my head is telling me that I just have to write this blog and then I can move on to the unimportant stuff I usually post about. I'm tempted not to do it at all. Of course, I know that if I choose to do that, I won't come back for a good long while. I'm sure of it. Soooo...as this is such a nice little steam-letter-outer, I just have to get through this blasted post.

Why is it so hard, you ask? Because it is. So there. Life goes on and we just have to get through it - that's what family and friends are for!

Yay! I did it! That was all. I know it's vague, but didn't you read the title of the post? Sheesh. Some people.

...

I started playing the video game "Red Dead Redemption," which I got for my birthday from Ryan. It is WAAAYYY much better than "Grand Theft Auto IV!" I LOVE IT!!! In the game, you play as John Marston, an ex-outlaw whose goal is to get back to his wife and kid. Dueling, retrieving bounties (dead or alive, of course), shooting coyotes (which I now pronounce 'ky-ohts' in my Old West enthusiasm) and all manner of interesting creatures, including a jackalope (which I have already bagged, by the way). Woo!

So far, I think my favorite thing is still riding the horse. I just enjoy it. He's so neat. He snorts and whinnies and shies and doesn't poop. That's a dream horse right there. On another note, my character currently has a beautiful golden palomino stallion named Santo Domingo.

John Marston on a Kentucky Saddler, which is Santo Domingo's breed.
Courtesy of the Red Dead Wiki

I told Ryan that I named mine and he immediately started looking in the menus to find out how to name your horse. I laughed and explained that there's no naming your horse in-game, but that I did it just because. I asked if he wanted me to supply a name for his horse and he said he'd name it himself; he called it Brownie, which suited it as it was a bay horse. I say 'was' because Brownie wandered onto the train tracks and got hit by a steam engine.

You see, Ryan had dismounted to be less of an easy target for a group of outlaws he'd been tasked with killing. When you dismount out on the plains with no hitching post around, your horse just decides to go wandering and that's just what Brownie did. When Ryan finished killing the bandits and lassoed the gang leader, who had a hefty bounty on his head, he realized his horse was gone.

Ryan: "Where is it?"
Me: "It exploded."
Ryan: "What?!"
Me: *sad face* Brownie got hit by a train.
Ryan: "What? When?"
Me: "When you were shooting those guys. I saw it. He exploded like a balloon filled with red mist. It was sad."
Ryan: "Huh." *he whistles and a pretty chestnut horse shows up*
Me: "Ooh. What are you going to name him?"
Ryan: "Dunno. Reddie?"
Me: "Nice. Noooo...really think about it. Get to know him for a bit and THEN name him!"
Ryan: *laughs a little* "Ok."

To my amusement, he listened to me and after a round of hunting out on the plains, he noticed that this new horse stuck a lot closer to him when he wasn't on it than Brownie ever did. In fact, the horse followed him around "like a dog," he said. "I'm gonna call this one Doggy," he told me with a smile. AWWWWWWWW! He humors me and gets a kick out of it to boot. I think he still has Doggy the horse, too.

As for me, Santo Domingo is still my mount of choice, ESPECIALLY since he's one of the top 3 types of horse in-game. Also, I'll get a trophy if I can keep the same mount for 20 story missions without hitching a new one to the post in front of my house. I didn't think that was hard until last night. I go out to pick some flowers for an old guy and first, I fall off a cliff while saving a man from mountain lions. I was on Santo Domingo at the time and, though I survived the fall, Santo did not. I was devastated and re-loaded my game. This time, I traipsed around to near the same area (where those blasted flowers grow) and a mountain lion came out of nowhere, killed my horse and then killed me. So...after 30 minutes or so of playing, mountain lions put me right back to where I was twice. No sirree. I'll get it right tonight...stupid mountain lions. I'll wear all your mangy pelts AND keep my pretty Santo Domingo! Hah! Take that, you overgrown house cats!

...man, I love this game!

Birthday Day!

I just like the way that sounds: birthday day.
Don't ask because I have no idea what to tell other than that.

Birthday day, birthday day! La la la, it's birthday day!

So, I am now 25 years old. My sister is under the impression that this fact alone will make my insurance go down, but I have no clue why she thinks that. I think that, if it's true, that will be the only worthwhile change that takes place while I'm occupying this nice rounded number of an age.

I got a cute card from my co-workers today with cartoon cats tied to balloons that move when you turn a paper dial à la a pop-up book. There's this one that has a face like this:
^     ^
O . O
    ^

It's so great! Makes me think of my Po, who already gave me three presents for my birthday, which is super, considering she's a cat. Yeah. They weren't the most pleasant of presents, either. First one she gave me early this morning:
   Po: *crinkle crinkle*
   Me: Ughhh... (waking up)
   Po: *more crinkles*
   Me: No ball! It's too early, stupid cat. (rolls over)
   Po: *crinkle crinkle crinkle*
   Me: Fine! That's it!
I get up, grab the paper ball from her and put it in a drawer. Glancing at the glaring red numbers on the stove clock, I see it's exactly 6:00 AM, one hour before the alarm goes off. Nice timing, Po!

Second present from Po comes when I wake up fully with the third try of the snooze button.
   Ryan, waking up: It smells like poop.
   Me: You smell like poop.
   Ryan: No, I'm serious.
   Me: *sniff sniff* Great...
Yup. Po took a great big dump in the litter box (on the other side of the house, mind you) and failed to cover it like usual. This time even Seffie was so disgusted that she didn't go in and cover up Po's monstrous dump. She was so upset this morning at Po's nasty poo that I didn't even see her until I'd cleaned out the box and Febreezed. Smart cat.

Third present from Po came when I was in between waking up and getting out of bed.
Ryan's already up and we're both very aware of the distinct poopy odor scenting the air when he turns and says this: "Is that puke?"
Yes, Ryan. Yes it is. AND we know how to distinguish between the puke of Seffie and Po because Seffie usually pukes chewed food and/or clumps of black hair and/or whole pilfered ribbons while Po, on the other hand, pukes up almost solely unchewed, partially digested dry food. This little clump on the floor in front of his dresser was the latter. Thank you, Po!

Of course, I couldn't stay mad at her for long. She followed me to the bathroom when I was getting dressed and hung out around the door, batting a hair tie she'd stolen from my purse. She purred and wagged her stripey tail while I brushed Seffie, who'd appeared from nowhere like the chubby ninja that she is. I guess it wasn't too bad of a birthday day morning after all.

Happy Birthday, Marilyn!

Today is June 1, 2011, and it is Marilyn Monroe's 85th birthday. I've got a special place in my heart for the lovely Ms. Monroe for many reasons, one of which is that we almost share a birthday. She was born exactly sixty years and one day ahead of me, give or take some hours.

She was a very unique person and I think the world is a better place because she was in it. Of course, I can say that about a lot of people, some of whom I'm sure you would claim are much more qualified to fit that statement than she, but I am choosing to say it about her right now. It isn't just because she was pretty. She was alternately determined and lazy, she was bright and bubbly, she was pleasant and unpleasant...she was normal. I like that.

So...in honor of her birthday, I'm going to post some of my favorite pictures of the late Ms. Monroe. Enjoy!

Road blocks, writer's block and building blocks

Ok. I'll admit first thing that the title is intentionally misleading. This post is about writer's block and I added the other two because I liked the way the sentence had an elementary school feel to it. You know...when you first learned how to write "essays" with a beginning, three topic middle and end. The last sentence of your first paragraph would be something like this: "Vegetables are bad for you because they get stuck in your teeth, they destroy your brain and they enhance all that is bad with the world." Come to think of it, that's how you ended the whole thing, too - with a copy of the end of your first paragraph. Maybe I was doing it wrong.

So yeah. I looked up this "Mercon" thing about a convention for mermaid-loving people/mermaids and read on their front page that the next "big thing" in "paranormal fiction" would be mermaids. Heck even stupid Stephanie Meyer of the Twilight awfulness said that she's writing about mermaids. F*** it! I practically threw something when I read that. Not that EVERYTHING I write about is about mermaids, but I have a few really good ideas that I've been messing with for a while now. I've written out character summaries, typed up scenes and dialogue, but never finished or really polished anything and then I read this. Boo!!! I really hope those people are overreaching in their theory that mermaids are going to be the next big "thing" because then it'll be one of two things:

1) It'll become WAAAY too hard to publish anything mermaid related because there's such a high expectancy level
- or -
2) It'll become WAAAY too easy to publish anything mermaid related because they'll take any piece of crap out there and it will become hard to distinguish between books and then they'll just become passe like stupid vampires and (to a lesser extent) zombies.

Bah. Can't let the bad feeling stick because it might never happen. Also, I suck at maintaining any one thing. I've got so many story starts (and subsequent abrupt stops), unfinished character maps, ideas, pieces of nothing that I don't know what to do with them. I get bored and move on before I ever finish anything. I'm surprised I've kept up with at least one blog a month on here so far. Maybe I'm growing slowly out of this "never finishing anything" phase. At this rate, I may have a novel ready to be presented by the time I'm 60. Woo hoo! I'm just now hitting halfway to 50. Crap.

Chills from songs, movies and books

In the midst of getting rid of this stupid cold, helping Ryan get over his stupid cold, waiting for my birthday, waiting for my Chinese "School Rumble" costumes and watching too many episodes of "Parking Wars" on Netflix, I thought I'd post about the music that I like. Oh yeah.

Do you have a song that just sounds so right you get a chill and the hairs on your arms stand up? Yeah. There are a few for me. Every now and then I'll find a new one, but these two always do that for me: "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by YES and "Rio" by Duran Duran. There's something about the way they're arranged that just sounds so pleasing. They're from the same era and the bass is incredible in both; they're bright, glistening examples of exactly what good 80s music was and still is.

Another group of songs that I've just discovered to give me chills are the songs on the soundtrack to Elizabeth I The Virgin Queen starring Anne-Marie Duff and Inception's Tom Hardy. The soundtrack was put together by Martin Phipps and features Elizabethan sounding songs performed by a group called Mediaeval Baebes. Every single song is absolutely gorgeous and they will immediately put you in a mind to don a ruff and grab a quill and a bottle of ink to write your own sonnets. The movie was wonderfully done and the soundtrack is incomparable. I mean...I liked Elizabeth and Elizabeth: The Golden Age with Cate Blanchett - she makes a marvelous Good Queen Bess and the dresses and sets are to die for - but they're so inaccurate and Hollywood-esque that they truly pale in comparison to the modest "Elizabeth R" series with Glenda Jackson, the "Elizabeth I" two-parter with Helen Mirren and this Virgin Queen TV movie.

Umm...I've gone a little off topic. (I like to rant sometimes.) Back to the music.

Well, when those Medaeval Baebes start harmonizing, chills race over me. They're so haunting, many of the songs on this soundtrack. I can't get enough. I also like that Martin Phipps wrote a song based on some lines from Elizabeth I's own poem called "On Monsieur's Departure." Attention to detail is always a super plus in my book. 

On another note: Tudor overload going on over here now! I'm watching "The Monarchy with David Starkey" part II and I'm reading Margaret George's latest novel, Elizabeth I. I just watched that Anne-Marie Duff movie about Elizabeth last week (and I'm aching to see it again), I'm listening to that movie's soundtrack and I think I'm going to re-read Margaret George's The Autobiography of Henry VIII after I'm done with her book on the latter part of his youngest daughter's reign. *sigh* I overwhelm myself with these things and I do nothing to stop it.

Birthday requests

From the last post until now, I've done things, seen movies, enjoyed life and am now slightly suffering the effects of a cold that my immune system is trying desperately to beat. I started feeling ill when I woke up yesterday with a sore throat, but I took an Airborne (yes, I swear those things work) and it died down until later in the day. Today, it took me about 15 minutes to pull myself out of bed and my eyes and throat have been dully aching all day so far. I really could take a nap, but that wouldn't be productive now would it?

I can tell my immune system is trying really hard instead of giving up (like it usually does) because I'm not completely incapacitated yet. However, I'm not 100% sure whether that should be heartening or disheartening.

I'm tired and I've been tasked with writing out a wish list for my birthday (which, from this day, is only 15 days away) by my sweet boyfriend, my wonderful parents and my lovely little sister. Sheesh. I love birthdays, and they're always fun, but I can never figure out what I want in time.  I knew a few weeks ago what I wanted, but now I can't think of anything. I guess I'll brainstorm it out here so that I'm doing something semi-productive...sorta.

Hmmm...what do I want....OH! There's a book coming out next Tuesday that I've been wanting forever: Dreams of Joy by Lisa See. It's a sequel to one of my all-time favorite books, Shanghai Girls, and I even reread that one to prepare myself. Granted, I've read Shanghai Girls more than three times already, but that doesn't matter; I'm ready! I guess I can wait a few days to get it...I AM currently reading the latest MASSIVE Margaret George book, Elizabeth I, and I don't think I'll be done with it quick enough for me to justify buying Dreams of Joy for myself on its release date.

Ooh...and now that I'm thinking about books, I would really enjoy getting my hands on The Lady in the Tower: The Fall of Anne Boleyn by Alison Weir. She's my favorite nonfiction author and the Tudor rulers are her particular speciality. This book finally came out in paperback recently, too...hmm. I'd love that one.

Umm...I know I'll love "Tron Legacy." Didn't see it yet, but I know I'll love it, so I guess I want that.

I kind of want the video game "Red Dead Redemption" because I like the "Old West"...but I hated "Grand Theft Auto," and that's just the "Old West" version of that game by the same company. Why did I hate GTA? Because I suck at driving the car. Yeah...that and I hated the cell phone. It was always ringing with the stupid cousin character asking you to go out with him and get drunk and hit on boring looking strippers in the "titty bar." Yeaaahhhh...that's nice. I can't decide one way or the other about it because boyfriend says it's going to be a lot like GTA, just on a horse. Here is one of our conversations about it:

Ryan: "If you don't like the car, what makes you think you'll like the horse?"
Me: "...because it's a horse?"
Ryan: "I bet the mechanics of it are similar - if not the same as - the cars in GTA, just bumpy instead of smooth."
Me: "But I like horses."
Ryan: "..."
Me: "And I'm good at shooting."
Ryan: "Then try GTA again. You'll get a feel for the driving if you don't give up on it."
Me: "But there's no horses."
Ryan: "..."

He loves me.

Hmm...what else? Oh. I know I want to go to Metrocon this year JUST so I can dress up as Eri Sawachika from "School Rumble." (AND hang out with little sister and her fun friends, but that's beside the point.) I watched the whole anime series and read the manga and fell in love with the hilarity and the characters. I'm even writing a lovely little fanfic, and if that's not a seal of approval from me, then I don't know what is! As for how that relates to my birthday, well, I want mia mamma to help me make a vest for my Eri costume a la this picture:

It's their summer school uniform and Eri's the blonde one, though that doesn't make a difference, clothes-wise. I can find the shirt, skirt, socks, bowtie and shoes separately, but I need the vest. Seems simple enough, huh? I know she's over doing costumes for me and my many manias, but she said she'd help, so she also told me that I have to think of something else to ask from them for my b-day. ARGH! ...maybe an eBay gift card to help me find the right parts of the costume? It's no fun to open present-wise, but it's something I want...

**EDIT**
After posting this blog and doing some thinking, I found it best to just suck it up and order the dang costume on eBay via a cosplay house in China. I did it once before with a store that had great feedback and I received a fantastic costume just in time for the convention. This store that I just ordered from also had fantastic feedback for their items and I ordered two "School Rumble" summer uniform costumes: one for me and one for my sister. Why? Because I asked her what she was going to this convention as and she said she didn't know yet, so I just suggested she pair up with me like we have before. It's always fun and it's also getting her to watch this hilarious anime! Yay!
**EDIT OUT**
Summary of my list with some extras:
~Dreams of Joy~The Lady in the Tower: The Fall of Anne Boleyn ~"Tron Legacy"
~MAYBE "Red Dead Redemption" game
~eBay gift card
~Anything related to the anime/manga "School Rumble" that's not the Harima keychain or cell phone charm (because I bought those earlier this month) - maybe the actual physical copies of the animated show?
~Anything with a pretty mermaid on it would be nice.
~Having my parents finally able to close on the house they want (which might happen in the next day or two).
~Physical copy of "The Virgin Queen" starring Anne-Marie Duff by Masterpiece Theater - it was AWESOME and I want to see it again. I already bought the soundtrack via iTunes. ^_^
~Any good costume drama movie that I haven't seen - OR - one that I have seen and don't own (like "Downton Abbey" *swoon*)

...so that's basically books and movies and a real wish. A magic wand, eBay and Amazon gift cards, maybe? Oh man. I'm boring.

***Post Script***
Parents closed on the house! Yay! No more magic wand needed! (Unless it can get me a sliver-blue Kia Rio and 2 Dodge Durango badges. Hee hee. Duran Duran mobile planning phase stage one commence!)

To a guy who never fails to make me smile

An open letter to Jersey John, the Cash 4 Gold guy at US-19 and SR-52 :

Screencap of a video by Emailjharris

Dear Jersey John,

You rock. Literally.

There is nothing good about my drive home other than the fact that I'm going home. It's hot, my right window doesn't work and I'm usually exhausted and flushed by the time I drive past the Gulfview Mall. However, despite the heat and the tedium of driving home, whenever I see you jamming with your bright yellow PAWN or CASH 4 GOLD sign, I can't help but smile.

That light at 52 and 19? I HATE it. I hardly ever get past it and, for some reason, it takes people ages to move forward when it's finally green again. But when you're there, I don't mind it at all. I see you dancing out there in your half shirt, cutoff jeans and white suspenders and I forget that I'm even at a red light. You just seem like there's nothing in the world that can bother you and you're just gonna keep on rockin'.

Just before I wrote this, I had no idea who you were. I kept meaning to look you up online, but it always slipped from my mind by the time I made it home. For some reason, I saw you yesterday and made a point to write a note down in my "handy dandy notebook" before the light turned green. I just finished looking you up and even found a news clip about you:

My thoughts? You're everything I'd hoped you'd be. You even quote Jim Morrison: "It's to deliver people from the limited ways in which they see and feel." You certainly do just that, Jersey John, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to thank you.

I've been feeling pretty down lately because of massive changes going on at work, but you've helped me, believe it or not. I see you out there doing your job in the insane heat, thick humidity and the gusty rain, and you're still rocking out like it's 70 degrees with a good sun and a cool breeze. It's a great visual that though conditions change, things still have to be done...the world keeps turning...life goes on. Thank you so very much.

I'd never thought I'd say that to a "sign guy," but there it is. The other "sign guys" are completely uninspiring and, though I look at them, they're just not attenion-grabbing like you. There's an old man north of Main St. who just shuffles. The Little Caesar's pizza guy with the guitar sign is interesting, but it looks like he's only into heavy metal and is limited to headbanging and imaginary riff-making. Oh, and those mannequin head contraptions that wave colored flags are just plain frightening. There's no one quite like you, Jersey John. Thank you for your individuality and your dedication to the craft. You really are making a difference!

Sincerely,
Signorina Sirena

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

What an unoriginal title, but it's incredibly apt, so I'll use it.
So many things are happening with too many changes taking place. I can't drown, because I'm a mermaid, but, as of right now, I'm tangled up in too much seaweed and there's a sense of panic rising within me. There's no real reason to panic, but I can't help it. The water's still cloudy and it's making it hard to see my way out of this slimy clump. Argh! "Time to face the strange," indeed, Mr. Bowie.

Over the Easter weekend, I enjoyed swimming with my little cousins. They're fun little fishies now that they can swim without those inflatable swimmies and we played a game I made up where if Candace or I put a diving ring around any little ankles, they were our "pet" until they could remove the ring; they loved it, as did we. Of course, they didn't get tired of it and their excitement turned into gleeful shrieks as we swam anywhere near them. So, every once in a while, to escape the shrill cacophony of happy little voices, I sank to the bottom of the deep end and just watched the sun beams penetrate the water's surface. All I could hear down there were muted splashes and the delightful fullness of a content feeling. My fears were gone and I thought about nothing down there. As the light flashed prettily off of my shiny, painted fingernails, I contemplated nothing, glorious nothing.

Unfortunately, I cannot sink past this blasted clump of seaweed. There is no escape except for straight through and that's hard for a lazy, panic-prone mermaid like me. I become alternately panicky and then lethargic. It's awful! I must remain calm and work my way through it. Perhaps I can alleviate some of this stress by striving to write something for myself every single day. That might help. Like I said, I've been lazy lately and have refused to do even that. I've been sinking into books, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I've been letting the other authors do all the work and THAT is bad. I need to help myself out of this icky patch!!! Some changes are good, some aren't great and others are downright terrible, but whatever they are, I just need to deal with them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mega storm

There's a lull in the huge storm outside (tornado warnings and all), so now I'll fill it up with the clacking of my keyboard. No silence for me! Not since Megacon, anyway.

Oh man...now THAT was a totally worth it weekend. From Friday to Sunday, it was non-stop action with all the costuming, photographing, posing and BUYING that Ryan and I did! There are so many elements that make up a great "comic" convention: awesome artist's alley, good panels, great celebrities, fun activities other than just panels, nice location, high level of costume participation and good vendors/booths. There are more, but these are the most important to me as a con-goer and Megacon has all of this in spades. Ha...it sounds like I've been going for years upon years, but this was my only my third Megacon ever. I think my sister has been to more than I have; she's the one who convinced me it was worth the drive and the ticket cost my first year. Now, I look forward to the next year the day it's over!

This year was our first year attending all three days of the con, too. I couldn't have asked for anything better. We also finally attended my sister's Dr. Horrible "picture show"; it was fantastic! They did such a good job! I know it's only going to get better every year and I can't wait to see them get the recognition they so rightly deserve.

Our costumes on Saturday were definitely my new favorites, even as much as I love my Sunday costumes. On Saturday, Ryan and I were Kaylee and Jayne to match my sister as Inara and her friends as Wash, Mal, Simon and River, all from the TV show "Firefly" and its sequel movie "Serenity." Being part of such a large "Firefly" group (who were all TOTALLY in character) was endearing - not just to me, but also to everyone who knew what we were portraying.

Sunday, Ryan and I were Lilith and Mordecai from the "Borderlands" video game from Gearbox Software:

I worked like a slave monkey getting things together for them last year (the year the costumes were created and first worn to Megacon); I love them and we look great in them, but the "Firefly" costumes suited our personalities perfettamente! Ahh...memories. But enough about us and on to my next favorite part: ART!!!

This year, I refused to buy any toys (except for mermaids and that Kaylee maquette I've been dying to find - neither of which I found, sadly) and only spent money on art that I loved. Oh yeah! Ditto for Ryan. No silly baubles for him, either. All art, all the time. My personal favorites (from whom I purchased art/books/etc. this year) are: Mike Maihack, Michael Dooney, Christian Slade and Gene Gonzales.

~I've been following Gene Gonzales on his blog since I saw his name and art on the Megacon website last year. This year, I actually bought his book of pin-ups and fell in love with his work all over again. He's a prolific blogger and I love checking his practically-daily postings. His style is so clean and pretty!!!!

~Michael Dooney I just learned about this year and I was crazy impressed with his sketchpainting and quick sketches in Japanese marker pens. I bought a few little books of his and he showed me a great sketch of Inara that he was working on there at the con. Oh wow...intricate and entrancing. She was just as lovely as she was on the show and even had Serenity flying off in the background. Maybe one day he'll sell it... ^_-

~Christian Slade was once a Disney artist and his drawings of dogs (especially Corgis) are absolutely adorable and awesome at the same time. He designed and drew this amazing series called "Korgi" that I am in love with. They're about these fairy/gnome-like beings called Mollies and these magical Corgi-like dogs called Korgis. More specifically, the books are about the adventures of one young Mollie named Ivy and her Korgi cub, Sprout! I just LOVE Sprout!!!! He's absolutely adorable! I can't wait until the third volume comes out - hopefully in time for Megacon next year!

~Mike Maihack is an artist who draws adorable comics and an awesome webcomic called "Cleopatra in Space"...now let me ask you something: HOW ON EARTH DID I MISS THIS LAST YEAR!?!?!??? I have been absolutely head-over-spleen in love with Ancient Egypt since practically my birth and I miss a giant banner with the lovely Cleopatra and Khensu (A SPACE KITTY!!!!!!) on it during my one day jaunt to Megacon last year?!?!!!! What is my world coming to? Where was my head? Oh yeah...it was that itchy but beautiful pink wig...AND the facts that we only came on Saturday, got there later than we wanted, it was absolutely packed and we could hardly walk 5 feet without stopping for a picture (because last year was Borderlands' big year). Oh yeah. That's how I missed him. Well, now that I know and have purchased both Cow & Buffalo comic books along with "Ash: the Time Travelling Kitty" and the printed version of the first chapter of "Cleopatra in Space" (and Ryan bought a crap-ton of absolutely squee-able prints), I'm considering myself a fan...and next year, I'm totally bringing way more cash. Underestimated that this year. <3

*phew* Completely committed to doing this again next year and Ryan agrees. This will be our big outing for the year (excluding any trip to see a Duran Duran concert, of course) every year and we're excited about it already.

Back into the storm...

A view of standardized testing in Florida, from a student who had to deal with it.

Do you remember sitting in your class, learning about how to pass the FCAT? I do. It was awful. We had to learn processes and tricks for passing a test that didn't really measure how we could comprehend different subjects. It touched on various things, didn't go into depth and was so touch-and-go that anyone with basic comprehension could pass, but that wasn't what was bad.

What was the worst about this test was that our lessons took a turn away from things that could really spark our interests and curved into the boring world of learning how to pass standardized testing. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who really get a thrill from filling in those little bubbles with nicely sharpened No. 2 pencils, but I remember taking them in middle school and hardly any of us enjoyed it. Ditto for every other standardized test.

My favorite parts of the tests were the reading portions. Not because they were easier for me, but because they were slightly interesting. Thinking about it, I just pulled up a third grade FCAT sample and read through it, answering the questions as I went. Ugh. Granted, I did really well, but I could tell the exact questions I would have problems with, were I to take this back when I was in third grade. (They were mostly math questions without hints as to how to solve them; you just had to know what formula or procedure was used for that type of question.)

I was lucky. FCAT testing didn't go into effect in elementary schools until after I was out of there, but we did do Florida Writes. I've always liked writing, but writing like that was torturous. Of course, that's the type of writing that gives you a good hint as to how to write a basic report in middle school and even high school (if your teacher didn't care too much), but it's strictly awful. Beginning, middle, end. Bam, bam, bam. And every final paragraph ended with something like, "and that's..."
...why I would like to become an astronaut.
...how grades are important.
...why you should always eat your vegetables.
...how violence on TV affects kids in school.

You could get either an expository or a persuasive type of prompt and then have to write about it in a way that was clear and concise without too many grammatical errors. Florida public school students still do this in the fourth, eighth and tenth grades. I hated it and I have always liked writing. Heck, I even liked writing reports, but I STILL hated doing the Florida Writes tests. I know I always did well, but I still hate them. To this day.

I hated the classes where we sat, learning how to plan for these "essays." I hated the predictable way in which you had to write these monstrous pieces of expository/persuasive drivel. ...I guess that's just a personality flaw on my part.

Ugh.
The reason all this hatred and these unpleasant memories are being stirred up in my head is because our lovely new governor, Rick Scott, is "anxious" to sign new legislation to base teacher pay on student performance, to be measured by standarized testing. I don't know about you, but I knew plenty of kids who struggled through regular lessons just to pass the FCAT because they had to. Something clicked and they got through. But, afterwards, they were right back to their disruptive and "say no to learning" ways. It in no way reflected the way our teachers taught, because the students who wanted to learn and the ones who were at least open to learning were doing well, but the ones who refused (obviously) weren't performing. AND THEY DIDN'T CARE!!!

I know now that this is somewhat a reflection of their home situations. Most kids can't just leave home at home; it doesn't work that way. If their parent(s)/guardian/grandma doesn't care, then why should the kid?

"Why you teachers always calling me about my kid? When he at school, he your problem! Deal with it!"

I just don't understand how this should factor into the pay of a Florida public school teacher. Oh, and did I mention that these poor Florida teachers have some of the lowest pay grades in the nation, compared to teachers in other states? No? Well it's true. How is threatening to cut their pay because the children of today are dealing with awful examples and terrible home lives going to help? It's not.

Something tells me that the stress of this added pressure is going to be a big issue. And the kids of Florida are going to suffer because the teachers will be suffering even more.

Ongoing cycle

You drive down the street in your beat-up Oldsmobile and it fits right in; you, on the other hand, don't. They see that in the instant the sun beating down on your windows reflects the right way. Slowly, very slowly, they amble out of the path of your oncoming rustbucket. They make sure that they see the whites of your eyes and you can either meet their steady gaze, or look past them. Today, I'll meet them head-on. They can gauge you in an instant and they have no obvious fear; you shouldn't either, or you might be in trouble.

Today, though, they're young, not even coming into their own yet. Their grammas and mammas still hold heavy sway, but they're on a porch talking it up, unseeing, down the street. These kids, maybe 5 or 6 of them all together, stand smack in the middle of the road, daring any oncoming traffic to hit them, honk at them, give them the finger, anything. They want me to do something when they see what I am. You can see a sneer or a look of unbridled confidence in a few of their faces. My music's up and I don't hear words, but a couple open their mouths, miming words that I can tell are curse words that their parents/grandparents and other, older siblings and cousins use frequently. One, a bold boy on a bike who can be no older than 9, reaches over and smacks his small hand on my car as I ease past. I resist the temptation to brake; that's what he wants. He wants me to be afraid that I've hit one of his friends or even him. Then he can laugh and point at me, a 20-something white girl. He sees that I don't care and dismisses me with a wave of his hand, like he's slapping me out of his sight. I can also clearly see that he uses a four-lettered word beginning with 'f' in what he exclaims as I continue past his group.

I'm on the next block and, in the rearview mirror, I can see that they're continuing what they were doing before my rumbling presence broke their mid-street confidences. Capri-suns, Coke cans and juice boxes are tossed to the sides of the road where, in future years, they will mutate into 40 oz. bottles, beer cans and little plastic baggies. It's not unavoidable, but it will happen just the same. Their parents did the same to different drivers when I was their age, living in that same neighborhood.

Life lessons from "The First 48 Hours"

So, I'm having a good weekend and spend all Saturday cleaning the house and painting flowers on my Kaylee costume jumpsuit. My throat hurts a little, but I don't think much of it, thinking it's prbably due to my breathing in the dust and stuff when I was cleaning; it's happened before. Sunday morning, I'm sick. Throat enflamed, fever oncoming and sneezing. Monday, I'm out of work with a nice fever and sleep most of the day. I wake up only to eat, drink more Gatorade and take my medicine. Ditto for today, except I'm feeling good enough to be awake for at least half of the day. Now my throat is better, but I'm so stuffy I still can't hear very well or breathe through my nose, but at least it's going away.

Today, when I woke up around 3, I felt like laying on the couch to watch something fun on Netflix...not a movie, just something like a show that I could watch and turn off at will to return to sleep if I needed it. I saw that Netflix had "The First 48 Hours" on instant and I love it. I watched some of this show when I had TV back at my parents' house, but it's been awhile since I've seen it. It's so...educational. Here's what I mean.

Things I've learned from "The First 48 Hours":

~Lord, save us from dope fiends and other unsavory characters with nicknames like Peanut, Noodles, Chocolate, Teeth, Baby Mike, Big Pat, Little Pat, Lil E, etc.

~Life as a male of any race from the ages of 19-23 must be terribly difficult; they're the ones getting murdered, doing the murdering or are at least suspects/accomplices.

~Don't sell drugs, don't do drugs and definitely don't videotape other people selling drugs.

~Nobody ever sees or hears anything. Even if they were two feet away from the smoking gun being held by the hoodlum who just pulled the trigger.

~Don't make friends with someone with a nickname like Peanut, P-Head, Noodles, Teeth or Chocolate; they're only gonna be trouble.

~You should never stay in a neighborhood with a nickname like "Pork 'n Beans" or "Little Havana."

~Do be suspicious when your friend wants to bring a shotgun with him on your joyride.

Costume Hijinks!

This is going to be a good month...I can tell. Not only is it my little sister's birthday month, but I also get to wear three costumes for different events!!!

That's one of my favorite things to do: dressing up and "becoming" a character for an event and/or party.

Last night, I was able to dress up as Princess Aurora of "Sleeping Beauty" for a Holiday of Hope event at Shriners Hospitals for Children - Tampa. It was absolutely great! Though I'd dressed up as Aurora before (twice, actually) for fun writing days with my mom's second grade class, last night, I think I perfected my "character." Not only did I have a wig this time, but I also WAS Aurora.

In preparation, I watched a few videos of kids and adults meeting Princess Aurora at the Disney Parks. I listened to her voice and the types of things she said and modeled my Aurora after her; I LOVED IT!!! ...and so did the kids! Even the adults had a good time talking to me as Aurora! I was nervous at first and afraid that I would look silly with the wig on, but man, it really pulled the whole princess look together, much moreso than the other few times I'd dressed as Aurora with my own dark blonde hair. I think the wig really added that Princess feel to it for some reason; maybe it's because the girls at the parks all wear wigs and wigs are perfect for the most part - not (too) frizzy, nicely curled, one straight color, etc.

I felt the part, everyone said I looked the part and the kids loved my Aurora. I had a real ball.

Of course, I'm exhausted now and I think I'm slightly allergic to the nice eyeliner I wear to make my eyes look more cartoon-ish, but it was all so worth it.

As for the other two costumes I get to wear this month, well, I'm dressing up as Kaylee Frye from "Firefly" and "Serenity" and Lilith from the video game "Borderlands" at Megacon in Orlando! (No eyeliner involved for either, I'm happy to say.) I'm so excited!!! I can't wait to be Kaylee because I've never been her before. She's a plucky, girly spaceship mechanic whose actress, Jewel Staite, shares a birthday with me. I'm also excited to reprise my Lilith with a better holster. Oh, and both of these costumes will be accompanied by my male counterpart, Ryan, playing complimentary characters: Jayne Cobb, the mercenary on "Firefly," and Mordecai, the sniper/hunter from "Borderlands." And, to top it all off, my little sister is joining our pair with two more complimentary characters: Inara Serra, the companion on "Firefly" and Mad Moxxi, the lovely mistress of the Underdome in "Borderlands." *sigh* I'm going bonkers with happiness just thinking about it!

Please forgive the jumpy nature of this post...I'm just still in the waves of euphoria from last night's party. The kids loved it and that just brightened my whole year. <3

El olor de tiempo

I can smell the rain and I see the clouds coming in. The palm trees are waving their frondy fingers and yet I still refuse to carry my umbrella.

I don't think it's a conscious decision because when it's pouring, I do feel that "oh crap" moment when I realize that I will eventually be drenched, but that still hasn't stopped me from pseudo-forgetting. I guess I just like the feeling of the rain on my skin. Maybe my body craves the droplets. I don't know. Either way, I'm still getting soaked.

Rain-to-come has the most interesting array of smells. Today, the scent reminded me of riding the old "Rio del Tiempo" (hee hee...'time' and 'weather'. How clever!) ride at Epcot Center in the Mexican Pavilion (now it's the "Gran Fiesta Tour Starring the Three Caballeros"). ...also "It's a Small World." Oh, and the "Maelstrom" ride at the Norway Pavilion in Epcot, too. It's such a great nostalgic smell.

Funny, yesterday the world smelled of Ferrero Rocher. Don't ask me why...I have no idea. Maybe I'm losing it or something. Perhaps it's because I've been cooped up inside with my distaste for cold weather all winter and I'm finally peeping out of my little warren to view the outside world. I sure missed it. Now I need to swim, and my transformation from cave witch to oceanic siren will be complete for another year!

The power of the princess

Ok. I'll admit it. I'm a big Disney princess fan. Always have been, always will be. So, what I'm about to rant about may be construed as a bit biased (or a lot biased, actually), but I have to do it anyway because it makes me sad, confused and all sorts of frustrated.

I just read an article about a book called Cinderella Ate my Daughter by Peggy Orenstein and saw a blog from a mom who claimed that the Disney princesses had "hijacked" her daughter's imagination. Oh my. I don't even want to get into the latter, but I will because I simply must. I cannot ignore this.

Let's pretend for a second that Walt Disney had never created the first full-length animated feature film about a displaced princess with a fondness for "funny little men." Heck, let's go so far as to say that movies weren't even invented (because there are more princesses out there than just the ones licensed by Disney). However, stories and storybooks WERE still around in this hypothetical world I'm trying to convey. Would these women still be complaining that the imaginations of their daughters were "hijacked" by Hans Christian Anderson and the Brothers Grimm? How about those thousands of "Cinderella" tales that have been told as entertainment and life lessons for thousands of years all across the globe? Would Critheanach or Aschenputtel (Gaelic and German versions of the little cinder girl) have been attributed to swallowing toddlers? Maybe, but most likely not.

I completely get it if these women were just ranting about the over-availability of the Disney princess stuff in its candy pink glory. Kids really do need variety to help better sort out their own preferences and I'm completely on board for that one, but they're also attacking the messages, stories, plots, EVERYTHING Disney princess-related. What's the point? (If it's really just to draw attention to themselves, then, darn it, it's working and I'M biting!)

Today, I came across an article/review on a book and blog that I found here. In it, I read this: “When my pregnant friend went in to get an ultrasound, the nurse told her, ‘You’re having a little princess!’ We don’t even have girls anymore.” - Peggy Orenstein in the book, Cinderella Ate my Daughter

Ok, Peggy. One overly-enthusiastic ultrasound nurse and you think the whole world is out to change the gender title to "princess?" Now that's just silly.

On a side note, I worked at a Disney Store for three years. Long time, but it was next door to my college and it didn't involve working with hot food...AND I do happen to love Disney. (I have only been beaten once in Disney Scene It, just so ya know...) I was not instructed to call the little girls "princesses," but I did. What else do you call them when you're asking them to stop climbing the "mountain" of plush while their parents are ranting on a cell phone over by the mugs with nary a glance in the direction of their excitable offspring? "Hey, little girl, get down from there!" No. "Princess, would you mind getting down? You might get hurt!" MANY adults in retail will call a little girl, "honey." I NEVER liked that. How is that not bad?

As for the lady blogger claiming the princesses have kidnapped her daughter's imagination and are holding it ransom until she surrenders the little girl entirely, well, she seems like she's against absolutely everything pink, girly, semi-girly, Disney princess-y, etc. She's out to save her daughter from being a stereotypical little girl and I applaud that, but when I browsed her blog, she's perpetuating two stereotypes of her own on the first page; her "mecca" is a supermarket and she's got enough dark chocolate to last her until her little girl has "recovered" from her lost imagination. Aren't those "typical women" things? Why shouldn't her girl like some "typical girly girl" things?

Oh, and since I mentioned that she thinks her daughter is losing her imagination to Disney, when was it bad for kids to like stories? That's where these princesses come from: stories. I can see it being a problem if this lady never let her daughter watch one of the Disney "princess" movies to see that the girls A) are all different or B) change over time, but dang. How can it hurt? In my own experience (which is by no means universal), Disney movies have helped me in developing a strong imagination. Old stories did that, pictures of great landscapes do that, Disney stories do that...anything, really.

Argh. I'm so all over the place and still frustrated that maybe it would be best if I stopped while I'm ahead (or behind, or sideways...). Hmm. I'm all over the place BECAUSE I'm frustrated.

All right. I GET how over marketing is annoying and bad and everything else. I GET how other things that little girls might like are kind of glossed over or pushed aside, but if the little girl likes it, how bad is it for her to like it in moderation? You're the moderator as a parent/guardian. You set the limits. No, you can't have a princess bed. No, you can't have princess dishes because you're too typical and you're buying into an awful marketing strategy, honey. Don't cry. We'll get this nice beige set instead and, if your imagination has recovered enough from princess mania, you can pretend there's a puppy on it...or something.

What bothered me the most is that someone could think that her daughter wasn't being imaginative for wanting to dress up, pretend and just be a fanciful child. Forget messages, marketing, the whole monster. Stories, any kind, PROMOTE imagination instead of "hijacking" it. That's what I think.

Signorina Sirena, a.k.a. Miss Mermaid, out.

(Take that!)